The Importance of Fatherhood

Last month, Parent Update announced the launch of a new parenting resource, Fathers Matter – a publication that offers practical information for fathers on bonding with your children, everyday fatherhood, rough and tumble play and parenting after separation.

Here’s an extract from Fathers Matter:

Only fathers father

Why is the importance of fatherhood frequently underestimated? Is it because we believe mothers do the ‘real’ parenting, while dads have to make do with ‘best supporting role’?

Fathers come fully equipped to deal with fatherhood. Research has shown that fathers are just as good as mothers at recognising and responding sensitively to the needs of their newborn babies, and just as able to care for older children.

On the whole, fathers are more similar than dissimilar to mothers in their capacity to parent and the way they parent, yet there are subtle differences and research is showing that these differences are important.

For example, fathers play with children differently than mothers. The father ‘brand’ of play expands children’s experiences and is linked to important social skills needed later in life.

When you care for and play with your child, you are doing so in ways only a dad can. You’re not just ‘babysitting’ or ‘being mother’ for a while; you’re fathering.

Fathering is irreplaceable

Then there is the issue of father involvement. Despite the fact that fathers in our society spend less time with their children (and far less time with babies) than mothers, they have a major impact on how their children turn out. High levels of father involvement have been linked to better social and academic skills in their children. Disengaged fathering has been linked to problems in children and young people as diverse as obesity, delinquency and depression.

Paths to fatherhood

Unlike mothers, modern fathers do not have universally accepted role models or fatherhood scripts they can follow. Our idea of fatherhood is in a state of flux, with rapidly changing views on what constitutes good fathering. You only have to think about how much fatherhood has changed over the last generation. Looking around today, you’ll see many approaches to fatherhood – from the slightly detached traditional father role, through to fathers who have a much more ‘hands-on’ approach.

Finding the right path for you is not made any easier by mass media which routinely highlights derelict fathering, focuses on violence and abuse, or presents fathers as lovable dills at best. Don’t be deterred. You will discover that, in addition to the more traditional roles of father as ‘provider’ and ‘protector’, there are other roles that you can fill competently – such as ‘carer’, ‘teacher’, ‘role model’ or ‘guide’.

The good news is that it’s up to you what kind of father you’ll become. Sure, you’ll be influenced by your cultural heritage and your own experience of being fathered. But by no means are you destined to follow any previous pattern. You may or may not want to emulate your own father – but the point is you have a choice. Being a father is one of the most rewarding life experiences a man can have. In the end, the only limiting factor is the role you choose to adopt – and how involved you decide to be.

More information

For more information and to read a copy of Fathers Matter online, visit Fathers Matter Parenting Resource

Fathers Matter was produced by the Parenting Research Centre for the Department of Education and Early Childhood Development.